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You put others needs first
An empathetic person places the needs of peopleeven animalsover his or her own. Empathic people are often people pleasers who put other people first, says Judith Orloff, MD, author of Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life and an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA with a private psychotherapy practice specializing in empathy. They want to help others and have large hearts, but they often give too much away and end up exhausted. Some more empathic people may be so giving and concerned about others that they can dislike people who tend to put themselves first. (Psst: Did you know reading can make you more empathetic?)Image may be NSFW.
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Youre an amazing listener
You like to listen rather than speak. You want to hear all the details about a situation so you can understand it completely. You truly and actively care about others and what theyre saying, says Stacey Laura Lloyd, a health and relationships writer and co-author of Is Your Job Making You Fat? How to Lose the Office 15and More!. Its one thing to simply hear the words of others, and its something entirely different to internalize what others are expressing and then understand and experience their feelings, needs, and motivations. To take in what youre hearing, you listen to verbal cues and observe nonverbal ones, keeping yourself engaged in the conversation. (Having a problem with a friend? Here’s how to solve common friendship problems.)Image may be NSFW.
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People turn to you for advice
People often seek your thoughtful feedback and support. Because they see you as an empathetic listener, they will tell you things they often wont tell anyone else and ask for your advice, says Fran Walfish, PhD, a relationship psychotherapist, author of Why Empathy Matters, and consultant on CBS The Doctors TV show. You often hear Ive never told anyone this beforeeven from people youve just met. You may find yourself drawn to professions that use your compassion and sensitivity, like teacher, therapist, or healthcare professional.Image may be NSFW.
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You get drained in social settings
You dont know how to block out other peoples emotions since youre so invested in those of others. And that can make you feel anxious, suffocated, and exhausted. Empathic people often get drained by excessive stimulation and too much talking, says Dr. Orloff. They often hate small talk, which is awkward at parties and social settings. (Feeling lonely? Here’s what can help.)Image may be NSFW.
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Youre a natural leader
Bosses who are empathetic tend to get better workplace performances out of their employees. Thats because these employees believe that their bosses have their best interests at heart, according to research published by the Center for Creative Leadership. Empathetic bosses possess good listening skills, compassion, and big hearts. And that means employees trust and communicate with them. Empathetic people know how to work with a team and let others be heard, says Dr. Orloff.Image may be NSFW.
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You love pets and animals
Even animals are drawn to people who are sensitive and really care about them. Empaths feel energized and soothed by animals unconditional love, says Dr. Orloff. Thats why they often have more than one pet. In society, so many people dont really understand an empathic persons sensitivities, says Dr. Orloff. But animals are very sensitive, and empathic people love cuddling and playing with them. In fact, she says that empaths often feel safer around animals than people. Even though they cant speak, animals are great at showing they care. (Perhaps it’s time to adopt a dogan older dog.)Image may be NSFW.
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Horrible events in life or on television overwhelm you
Watching unpleasant or tragic events on the news, movies, and television may upset and disturb you to the point that you become teary, ill, or anxious, Dr. Walfish says. Its hard for you not to empathize with people in pain, even if you dont know them in real life, she explains. You may often find yourself avoiding the news or certain types of shows since they affect you so deeply. In life, if you see a homeless child, cat, or dog, you often feel guilty when you cant help more. (Have a friend who drains you? Here’s how to deal with a toxic friend.)Image may be NSFW.
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You feel other peoples physical ailments
Empathic people are often like sponges, soaking up the feelings of those around them, Dr. Walfish says. You may not even realize youre doing it but if you find yourself feeling tired, sick, or depressed for no reason you might want to take a look at those around you and see if you are unconsciously mirroring their symptoms. (Check out the bad habits that cause friendships to end.)Image may be NSFW.
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You can often tell when someone is lying
You read people easily, so you can more easily detect when someone is lying. Empaths can immediately sense when something feels right or if it feels off, says Dr. Orloff. If you trust yourself, you can extend this ability to understanding not just when someone feels off to you but why. Perhaps their actions dont match up with their words or what they are saying doesnt ring true with previous conversations. Be careful, though, as this ability can take you too far in the other direction. Empaths often want to believe others because they understand their feelings which can make you more susceptible to people looking to manipulate you through emotional appeals, Dr. Walfish says. Its important to check in with yourself about what is best for you and make sure youre listening to your gut, she adds. (Can lying be healthy? Here’s when it’s OK to lie.)Image may be NSFW.
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You want to help anyone in pain
You want to help those who are hurting, regardless of what theyve done to you and who they are. You cant walk past someone who is suffering (such as a homeless person) without wanting to help him. Empathic people naturally want to absorb other peoples pain into their own bodies to take it away for the sufferer, says Dr. Orloff. You feel responsible for the well-being of those around you. You try not to take things so seriously and just let it go, but you cant.Medically reviewed by Ashley Matskevich, MD.Now that you learned the signs you have incredible empathy, learn how to be better understood by your partner.
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