What every man needs to know
The reality may surprise you: One in three men have experienceddomestic violence,according to The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Expanding your knowledge of what domestic abuse is, what it looks like, and the trauma it causes can help you get help if you need it or come to the aid of someone going through it.
Men are victims, too
Were conditioned to believe that its women who are always victims, but thats not true. Just about half of all men in the US report that theirintimate partnerhas been psychologically aggressive, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. And one in seven men has suffered severe physical violence from a partner.
It happens at young ages
Young males are at the highest risk fordomestic violence, according to the CDCs report. More than half of the men who were victims of sexual or physical violence or stalking by a partner were under 25 years old.
You can find help
If youre a man and experiencing violence in your relationship, there are places to go for support. A man deserves help just as much as a woman. Most agencies are still called womens centers, so men dont know that there are resources out there for them, saysAshley Bendiksen, a certified abuse prevention activist and domestic violence survivor. (Here are some things most people don’t realize about domestic violence.)
There needs to be better care
Men need to know help is availablethoughmale victimsare still underserved when it comes to support, according to a systematic review of 12 studies that was published inBMJ Open. The study authors recommended increased advertising for available programs and that the programs do a better job of addressing mens needs, building trust, and arranging follow-up care; they also pointed out that men and women should be able to choose the support staff they feel most comfortable with.
It can be the catalyst for many struggles
Problems can extend far beyond the relationship. Often an abusive relationship can result in other chronic mental health struggles, includingdepression,anxiety, substance abuse issues, eating disorders, and self-harm, says Bendiksen. In addition, productivity at work could go down. People fail to realize that a bad relationship can be a root cause for a lot of other challenges in life. Its emotionally exhausting, she says.
Yes, you should step in
Theres a prevailing thought that domestic abuse is a private matter between two people. And thats why, despite the fact that one in five men reported witnessing a man be abusive or harassing a womanbut just 10 percent reported it to the police, per a 2016 report from theAlberta Council of Womens Shelters(ACWS).
Yelling is unacceptable
When arguments get heated, do you yell or scream at your partner in order to intimidate them? Just one-quarter of men from the Canadian report said that yelling at their partner was a form of violence, and more than half didnt consider the action serious. Yet, yellingisa form of violence, the ACWS says. 
There are many different types of abuse
Everyone should know thatdomestic violenceis more than physical abuse, says the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Its emotional, sexual, financial, and even minimizing said abuse. Any type of violation against ones personal space or well-being is violence, saysRuth Glenn, president/CEO of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV). (Check out how these three women turned their stories of abuse into ones of empowerment.)
System abuse is a more recognized problem
One form of abuse is system abuse, says Glenn. This is when the abuser uses the legal system against the victim by appearing to be the calm, rational party, she explains. Theyre using a court system or the police to maintain control, she says. This can trap a victimthe abusive spouse can say:You can call the police, but they wont believe youoryou look hysterical, no one will take you seriously.
Technology is making it easier
Partners can keep tabs on each other at all times. Technology has added another layer of abuse by allowing people to monitor where their partner is, says Bendiksen. Obsessively tracking a partner is also a form of abuse, she stresses. Plus, pay close attention to these warning signs of a potentially abusive realtionship.
Not all victims know they are
Just because a person doesnt call their treatment abuse doesnt mean theyre not being abused. Im a survivor myself and when Ifirst heard the words domestic abuse,I didnt think it was me. Then, I began to put the pieces together. We might know somethings wrong but dont realize whats really going on until someone puts a name to it for us, says Glenn. The takeaway: if you think a loved one is being abused, dont be afraid to speak up. Start with something likeI think you might be in trouble. Im worried about your safety. Have you ever heard of the term domestic violence?
Leaving isnt easy
Dont discount a victim just because they havent left yet. Its important to understand that leaving is not an easy decision, even when being abused. Domestic abuse is about having power and control. When the victim is leaving, its the most dangerous time for them because their partner could lash out, says Bendiksen.For more information, call theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1-800-799-7233 or theGay Mens Domestic Violence Projectat 1-800-832-1901.Medically reviewed byAshley Matskevich, MD.Next, read one woman’s story on why she stayed in an abusive relationship.
The post 12 Things Men Don’t Realize About Domestic Violence appeared first on Best Health Magazine Canada.